Live a beautiful life

"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart."-Frederick Buechner

Today was Grady's birthday. And I have so many thoughts swirling around....I miss him. I miss him so much. I am so thankful that I had him in my life, and I am so grateful for his love. I would have been Charin Shipman by this day. Grady said that he wanted us to get married before his birthday.....how very different this time would be.
But life? Life is not always what we plan. I am just thankful for the time that I did have with him. I still love him so much, and he has my heart. Always will.
Getting through this grief, this terrible aching loss is very hard. For everyone that loved him.
Katie asks to talk about about him every night before she goes to bed. She loved him...Colin looks at his pictures and smiles.
And so, step and step. I am trying to find my new path.
I have read so many books since I lost him...about the grief process, about philosophy.
It's a struggle, it's hard. I have never felt pain like this.
But beyond all of that, I have such a deep rooted thankfulness for him. How precious of a gift I was given, for us to have our lives and hearts intertwined.
*Thank you God*
I love you Grady. Happy Birthday.